Unrequited Love
by smileyspiritprincess
Summary: New Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, tries to rekindle his love affair with Minerva McGonagall. However, her eyes are set on another. Will he succeed in capturing her heart? Fluffy, light-hearted romance set during CoS
1. Enter Gilderoy and Minerva

Unrequited love

Disclaimer - I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or any of the characters in this story (cries). All characters belong to J.K.Rowling (bows down and worships. hehehe)

**Chapter one- Enter Gilderoy and Minerva**.

Gilderoy Lockhart stepped into Flourish and Blotts where there was already a small crowd gathering to see the famous hero and author. He had not yet been noticed, however, but unlike many other people he craved attention from his adoring fans. 

"Ahem." Gilderoy gave a loud cough which turned many heads. Witches gave loud gasps and their accompanying wizards rolled their eyes and turned away; even though they continued to watch Lockhart in awe from the corners of their eyes, trying not to look too interested in the flashy man. 

Lockhart strode over to a door at the other end of the store and before he went through it, he gave a toothy grin and a flourish of his forget-me-not blue robes as he waved. _It's a hard job being idolised by so many_ he thought _but someone's got to do it!_

~~~

A bespectacled witch with her hair in a tight, respectable bun entered Flourish and Blotts half an hour later. She; unlike every other witch; did not seem at all interested at the sight of the many moving paintings of Gilderoy Lockhart, all of which were winking and giving dazzling smiles to passers by. She also didn't seem remotely excited at the chance of meeting the real man either. She knew already that she would be spending far too long a time in the mans company at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry the following school year, which started in a few days time.

"Minerva, I said… MINERVA! OVER HERE!" yelled a woman with short grey hair. She waved furiously.

"Good morning, Helen," said Minerva McGonagall in an irritated tone of voice. "I take it you're here to see that show off Gilderoy Lockhart?" she said more sharply and with a hint of annoyance.

"Well, n-no not-not really" stammered the shorter witch, and turned slightly pink. "I just needed to pick up a new copy of-of-of" she glanced quickly around the store for a book that would give her a feasible excuse. "_Quidditch Through The Ages" she replied quickly, giving a sigh of relief. Minerva shot her a look of disbelief but when her fellow professor changed the subject she was more than happy to oblige, as the topic of Gilderoy Lockhart was not one she wished to remain on for too long._

Gilderoy opened the door to the back room slightly to see his public; he was pleased to see that there had been a large turn out and that a photographer from The Daily Prophet had already arrived. He quietly closed the door and began to look at himself in the mirror; he fiddled a little with his blonde hair and gave his reflection a wink before opening the door widely and stepping out into the main store. 

~~

Gilderoy gave his fans a smile, rolled up his sleeves, and sat down at a table, ready to sign books. He heard the man from _The Daily Prophet_ telling people to "Get out of the way, this is for The Daily Prophet" then he heard an annoyed reply;

"Big deal"

He looked up. Staring into the crowd, he caught sight of a red-headed boy who was rubbing his foot, and another boy next to him; with a curious, lightning shaped scar on his forehead. 

He stared. Then he leapt to his feet and positively shouted, "It can't be Harry Potter?" 

Gilderoy dived forward, seized Harry's arm and pulled him to the front. He shook his hand eagerly.

"Nice big smile, Harry" said Gilderoy through his own gleaming teeth. "Together you and I are worth the front page."

He then he threw an arm around Harry and clamped him tightly to his side.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for quite some time! When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography- which I shall be happy to present to him now, free of charge" the crowd applauded, Gilderoy loved the attention "he had no idea that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book Magical Me. He and his school fellows will in fact, be getting the real, magical me. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that, this September, I will be taking up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" 

The crowd was positively buzzing with excitement at this bit of news apart from a lady at the back who seemed; to Gilderoy; as if she had not even heard the splendid news. After signing autographs he made his way to the lady whom he now recognised to be Minerva McGonagall, his fellow professor who taught Transfiguration . 

He coughed, to try and get her attention, but she didn't look up.

~~~

Minerva barely had a chance to say goodbye to Madame Hooch before Gilderoy Lockhart emerged from the backroom, and at the same time Madame Hooch hurtled off to the front of the cue. Minerva rolled her eyes and picked up one of Gilderoy's books that lay on a table beside her she turned it over to read the blurb. The cover, both back, and front was covered with pictures of moving Gilderoys each winking, smiling and waving at her. 

_How can anyone concentrate on reading his books when they are full of these ridiculous pictures!?_ She thought to herself. She read the blurb in disgust. 

"Complete and utter rubbish!" she muttered. "How can anyone believe this hogswash?!"

"It can't be Harry Potter!" she heard Gilderoy shout. Minerva quickly put the book down on the table, quite to the disappointment of the Gilderoy pictures, as she hadn't even opened the book. She tiptoed at the back of the crowd to see if Harry really was there and sure enough he was, and by the looks of the family of red-heads near the front he was with the Weasleys. 

_Poor boy_ she thought; a pitying look on her face. She straightened up and scowled, her pity turned to anger. 

_Ooh why that pompous, ignorant little… just wait until term starts. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! _ She could feel herself shaking with anger. She threw the Gilderoy book off the table and onto the floor with a loud thud, but no one noticed.

Minerva hauled herself up onto the table and picked the nearest book which wasn't written by Lockhart, which just happened to be the copy of _Quidditch Through The Ages that Madame Hooch had pretended to have been interested in purchasing._

Whilst reading she was able to calm down.  She heard footsteps coming closer to her. Peering over the top of her book, she saw that it was the poser himself - Gilderoy. He coughed, she knew this was to get her attention but she wasn't going to look up until he addressed her properly.

~~~

He coughed again, slightly louder this time, but Minerva kept on reading her book, and from what he could see, it was _Quidditch Through The Ages. _

"Minerva! I didn't know that you were interested in Quidditch." He gave her his sparkling smile. She looked up at him, and she didn't smile back. 

"Oh. It's you." Even though she was sitting lower than he was she still managed to look at him condescendingly. Gilderoy felt his confidence waver slightly under her gaze. 

"So did you hear my marvellous speech about teaching at Hogwarts? Isn't it great news?" he rallied, trying to keep calm.

"Yes, just terrific" she said unenthusiastically, looking down at her book. "And your little speech has just saved Dumbledore an announcement at the start of term feast."

"Oh, I didn't mean to steal the old boys thunder I…"

"Oh don't worry. I am sure he won't mind, and neither will the students, it just means that they get to eat sooner, which I am sure they'll all appreciate" She gave a quick grin as she saw his obviously dissatisfied look. 

"Ah, yes. Well okay, then, good." 

Minerva rolled her eyes behind her book, as if this conversation wasn't pointless enough, he had begun to babble.

"Was there even a reason that you came over here to speak to me, Gilderoy?" she said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Uh, no, no not really" he stammered, his confidence dropping quickly.

"Well then, I really must be off." She swept past him. "See you at school" she called as she walked away, grimacing at the thought of Gilderoy teaching.

"Farewell, Minerva," he whispered gazing after her as she walked out of the shop.

~~~

_I can't believe the nerve of that man!_ She thought angrily as she made her way through the crowds of people in Diagon Alley.

_I can't believe that I ever had the lack of common sense to have a relationship with him. Oh it was fine at first, we spent a lot of time together, the odd fan here and there was often an annoyance I'll say that much but when he wrote more books his fame became more important than me. He stood me up countless amounts of times. I'm so glad I left him._ She felt tears well up in her eyes, but was determined that was where they were going to stay. She blinked them back and stormed on. 

_And then after all these years he tries to make small talk with me after not taking an interest in me for ages, I don't know what he was thinking._ She gave a low growl. _This year is going to be unbearable! She continued to think these comments of how worthless he was and how he was not fit to be bitten by a werewolf let alone claim to be cornered in a phone box by one! _

~~~

Gilderoy's face fell; he couldn't believe that he, Gilderoy Lockhart had been blown off like that. Everyone adored him, however she obviously didn't. _No matter, he thought. __I have plenty of time to win her over during the school year. And with this happy thought planted in his head he eagerly got back to signing autographs._

~~~


	2. Hogwarts

Chapter 2- Hogwarts 

The Professors reached the school before the students, as usual. It was still light outside when Gilderoy Lockhart arrived. He was thoroughly excited by his new job and was greeted eagerly by the other professors.  

There were, however, two professors who had not joined the welcoming committee, Professor Severus Snape and Professor Minerva McGonagall. He hadn't expected Minerva to be there because of the frosty conversation he had with her a few days ago, but why Severus was not there he could not understand. He had heard that Severus Snape was a cantankerous man so he suspected that this was the reason for his absence. 

Madame Hooch seized his hand,

"It's so good that I… uh… we finally get to meet you properly, Mr Lockhart!" she rushed. "Do you remember me? Madame Hooch. From Flourish and Blotts?" she said quickly, a hopeful look on her face. Gilderoy struggled to remember her face from Flourish and Blotts, though he did think she looked vaguely familiar.

"Of course I do," he said smoothly. "Great to see you again Madame Hooch!" He smiled winningly.

"He said it was great to see me!" she whispered squeakily into another female Professor's ear. 

"Good afternoon, I'm Professor Flitwick. Nice to meet you Mr Lockhart" smiled a short Professor. 

"Likewise, I'm sure, and none of this Mr Lockhart business! Call me Gilderoy." 

A tall, thin, wizard approached from the back of the small crowd, his eyes smiling from behind his half moon spectacles.

"Good to see you Gilderoy."

"What a pleasure it is to finally meet you in the flesh, Professor Dumbledore." They both shook hands calmly. 

"May I ask where Professor McGonagall is, sir?"

"You may. I'm afraid she has some business to attend to, but I will assure you that you shall see her later on today. Why such an interest in Minerva, Gilderoy?" smiled Dumbledore. Unbeknown to Gilderoy, Dumbledore already knew of Gilderoy's past relationship with Minerva.

"No real reason, Professor, just curious," he replied uneasily.

~~~

Minerva McGonagall was, in fact, with Professor Severus Snape in the Potions room. Earlier on that day he had overheard her talking to Dumbledore about how she loathed Gilderoy Lockhart, and that she didn't want to be there when he arrived. 

Although there was a natural rivalry between Severus and Minerva, he had offered her the chance to seek sanctuary in his classroom. He didn't particularly wish to welcome Gilderoy to the school either. Although Severus didn't know Gilderoy on a personal basis he already loathed him, as the overgrown twit had taken the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher away from him. This was the second year that he had failed to achieve this post and he was obviously not happy about it;

"I cannot believe that Dumbledore gave that fake prancing ninny the job over me" he spat with contempt.

"I agree. It truly is unbelievable," agreed Minerva. Severus looked at her in disbelief. Had they actually just agreed on something?  Minerva looked just as surprised, as they never seemed to agree on anything. Severus turned his back to her and started to brew a potion.

"Why do you loathe Lockhart that much?" he asked.

She had to think about this one. Nobody had ever asked her why she disliked him so much; apart from Dumbledore that is; did she mind him asking? She wasn't too sure. The fact that he'd taken her opinion seriously also amazed her.

"If you must know," she began coldly "We were once an item." She paused, waiting for a laugh or an insulting remark from Severus, but none came, so she carried on. "He was okay, before he became famous. He started to ignore me and after I left him, he never tried to contact me. I met him at Flourish and Blotts last week. He tried to talk to me as if we were old friends and as if nothing had happened all those years ago." 

She had started to shake with anger at the recollection of this memory; she was glad that Severus was facing the other way. _But why do I care what he thinks? I don't, at all,_ she reminded herself. Severus previously had no idea that they had had a relationship, and was quite shocked at the news. He glanced at her reflection in his potion vial. 

_She is quite pretty, in a strange way,_ he thought. _I can see why he liked her._ Severus had now shocked himself, he had never thought of her that way before, and he certainly wasn't about to make a habit of it.

They heard footsteps outside the room. _Please don't be Gilderoy, please don't be Gilderoy_ prayed Minerva silently. 

"It isn't Gilderoy," said a voice from behind the door. It was Dumbledore. "I have just received some news from the Ministry," he said, before they could speak. "It appears that Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley have sought a different method of travelling to school." 

Both Severus and Minerva looked surprised. 

"They have decided to travel by a flying blue Ford Anglia."

"What!?" Minerva exclaimed, more in shock than anger.

"A blue Ford Anglia, Minerva. It is a Muggle vehicle, used for travelling long distances by land, quite an ingenious invention really…"

"I know what a Ford Anglia is, Albus!" interrupted Minerva. "What I want to know is what absurd reason they have for this ridiculous idea; they have recklessly put our world in danger!" 

Severus nearly smiled at her outward display of anger. This surely meant that they would be expelled, and that he wouldn't have to face that constant reminder of the person he loathed so much; James Potter.

~~~

Argus Filch was roaming the corridors, making sure that all the students' cases were in order. Mrs Norris was by his side sniffing all the cases undoubtedly searching for stink pellets. She stopped in front of Fred and George's, and hissed. 

"Ooh, what's that, Mrs Norris? Stink Pellets? Who are the offenders…" he cackled eagerly. 

"Fred and George Weasley; surprise, surprise. I'll get them for this one." 

He started to write on his notepad when something outside, across the grounds caught his eye. 

"What the devil?!" he exclaimed. As it got closer he could see that it was Ron and Harry in a flying car. He completely forgot about Fred and George. 

"Oh my, Mrs Norris, they are going to be in trouble." He smirked. "Big trouble."

~~~

Severus left his lab after Minerva and Albus had, and instead of going straight to the feast, he stood on the stairs, in the shadows where he couldn't be seen. _I've just got to witness this first hand, he thought. _And as I shall be the only teacher not in the hall, I will have the pleasure of punishing them accordingly. No doubt that they will be no more trouble after this little fiasco._ He smiled to himself and turned his concentration to the large entrance doors._

Which swung open.

~~~

"I think the feast's already started!" Ron said, panicked. "Hey, Harry come and look- it's the Sorting!" Both boys were now peering into the Great Hall. 

"Hang on…" muttered Harry. "There's an empty chair at the staff table…where's Snape?"

"Maybe he's ill!" Ron said, with a little too much enthusiasm in his voice for Severus' liking. "Maybe he's left, because he missed out on the Defence Against the Dark Arts job again!"

"Or he might have been sacked! I mean everyone hates him." 

He may have not liked Harry and Ron, but he still felt slightly hurt by their conversation. Did everyone really hate him? No, surely not, anyway, did he really care if everyone _did_ hate him? Of course not, it wasn't as if it was anything new anyway.

"Or maybe, he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train." He looked condescendingly at Harry and Ron and gave a little smirk at their reaction towards him, wishing he had a camera. 

"Follow me," He led them through the corridors to his office, occasionally glancing over his shoulder to cherish the guilt in their faces. This was a night that he was going to savour every minute of, the night that he got Harry Potter and his little Weasley friend expelled. He smiled at the thought, and then hid it as they approached the office. 

"In!" he barked, opening the door. 

"So, the train isn't good enough for the famous Harry Potter and his sidekick Weasley. Wanted to arrive with a bang, did we, boys?" 

"No, sir, it was the barrier at King's Cross, it, it." Harry stammered, 

_I'm not going to take any more of his ridiculous excuses. He's going to be sent away from here once and for all._

"Silence! What have you done with the car?" He un-rolled his copy of the _Daily Prophet._ "You were seen." 

Oh how he would enjoy reading the report out to them: "_Two Muggles in __London__, convinced they saw an old car over the post office tower… at __noon__ in __Norfolk__, Miss Hetty Bayliss, while hanging out her washing… Mr Angus Fleet, of Peebles reported to police. Six or seven Muggles in all. I believe your father works in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office?" _

Severus turned to look at Ron and a wicked smile spread across his face "Dear, dear… his own son…" He paused a moment to let his words sink in to Ron's head; he could see the regret welling up inside of him. 

"I notice that considerable damage seems to have been done to a very valuable Whomping Willow."

"That tree did more damage to us than we-" Ron blurted out suddenly.

"Silence!" snapped Severus again. "Most unfortunately you are not in my house and the decision to expel you does not rest with me. I shall go and fetch the people who do have that happy power. You will wait here." He strode out of his office slamming the door behind him. A smile crept onto his face; he was going to love watching the downfall of Harry Potter. 

~~~


	3. A close call

Chapter 3 - A close call  
  
"Why are you so tough on the boys?" Minerva knew that what they had done was extremely idiotic, had put the whole Wizarding world in danger and had given the already busy ministry of magic a lot of work to do, but she wasn't sure why Severus was pushing for Harry and Ron to be expelled; they aren't even in his house. She told herself. Then again everyone knew that the potions master hated Gryffindor as he was head of Slytherin, and there was a feud between the two houses for as long as anyone could remember.  
"Because, they are more trouble than they are worth," He drawled "and I seem to be the only one who realises it."  
Minerva rolled her eyes He seems to have forgotten that they saved the school last year. She let out a sigh as she thought about it.  
"And no I haven't forgotten that they saved the school last year." He looked at Minerva through the corner of his eye while they walked and he noticed that her eyebrows raised as he mentioned last year.  
Can he read minds? Minerva wondered. It wasn't the first time he'd made her think this. Severus opened his office door and Minerva followed him in. The boys were standing in the middle of the room, still in their muggle clothes, looking very worn and anxious. Minerva pointed her wand at the fireplace and flames erupted lighting up the dark room and casting dancing shadows on the wall.  
"Sit," she paused waiting for them to take their seats "Explain." Ron launched into the story, starting with the barrier at the station refusing to let them through.  
".So we had no choice, professor, we couldn't get on the train."  
"Why didn't you send us a letter by owl? I believe you have an owl?" Minerva aimed her question at Harry who had remained quiet while Ron told them what happened.  
"I-I didn't think-"  
"that, is obvious" She said looking at him condescendingly. There was a knock at the door. Severus knew exactly who it was, and sure enough Dumbledore walked into his office, now looking more disappointed than angry. There was a long silence while Dumbledore looked from Harry to Ron and back again over his half-moon spectacles.  
"Explain why you did this." Dumbledore said in a disappointment filled voice. Harry looked down and re-told how he and Ron had flown to the school.  
"We'll go and get our stuff," Ron said before any of the professors could say anything.  
"What are you talking about, Weasley?" Questioned Minerva.  
"Well, your expelling us, aren't you?" Ron said rather pathetically.  
"not today, Mr Weasley." Said Dumbledore. Severus' face fell "But I must impress upon both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to both of your families tonight. I must also warn you that if you do anything like this again, I will have no choice but to expel you."  
"Professor Dumbledore, these boys have flouted the decree for the restriction of underage wizardry, caused serious damage to an old and valuable tree.surely acts of this nature." Severus replied extremely disappointed that he wouldn't be rid of the two troublesome boys.  
"it will be for professor McGonagall to decide on these boys' punishments, Severus, They are in her house and are therefore her responsibility." Dumbledore said calmly the disappointment fading from his voice "I must go back to the feast, Minerva, I've got to give out a few notices. Come, Severus, There's a delicious- looking custard tart I wish to sample." Severus shot a look at Harry you may have gotten away lightly this time but I'll be there when you slip up again and you won't get away with it. He felt the hatred running through him as he looked at Harry, but allowed himself to be swept out of his office by Dumbledore.  
"you'd better get along to the hospital wing, Weasley, your bleeding." Minerva said.  
"Not much, professor, I wanted to see my sister being sorted-"  
"The sorting ceremony is over, your sister is also in Gryffindor."  
"oh good," Ron was visibly relieved.  
"And speaking of Gryffindor-" Minerva started.  
"Professor when we took the car term hadn't started , so-so Gryffindor shouldn't really have points taken from it, should it?" Harry interrupted  
"I will not take any points from Gryffindor but you will both get a detention." Oh dear, they do have some cheek she thought and could feel herself laughing inside. She conjured a plate of sandwiches.  
"You will eat in here and then go straight up to your dormitory, I must also return to the feast." 


	4. AN

A.N.  
  
Hey guys I thought it was about time that I said thankyou. so here goes; THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  
  
MK in La la LAND, cROOKYSHANKS,ObSidian10- hmmm... ur senses may be right...  
  
cROOKYSHANKS- yes I agree that Gilderoy is an idiot, I really need to write some more about him...  
  
and thanks to every1 else! 


	5. In The Great Hall

I'm sorry for keeping you all for so long, lots of stuff to do, you know how it is. This may be the last update for a little while although the next chapter is finished it needs to be beta'd so depending on homework it might be up soon no promises though sorry. Also sorry for the length pretty short isn't it?  
  
**disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Harry Potter, If I did would I be here?**  
  
now on with the fic!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
  
In the Great Hall the number of students was beginning to thin out. The first years had been taken up to their common rooms by their prefects and now older students were leaving to their common rooms in small groups. Hermione was still sitting at the Gryffindor table with Parvarti and Lavender, rolling her eyes. They were onto discussing boys in the other houses now. Even though she hated the subject, it was a welcome change from the conversation that they had had on the journey to Hogwarts, which consisted of comparing cosmetics; both muggle and magical.  
  
Flashback  
  
"Parvati, I'm telling you, I swear by my moisturiser and exfoliating cream. I apply it day and night to my face and throat. Working in upward circular movements is the best way to get it all to sink in," Lavender said demonstrating the movement on her cheeks. "Your skin will feel ever so much smoother, and you won't get wrinkles!" she continued with a big smile on her face. Hermione looked up from her Hogwarts: A History, and shook her head. Lavender was beginning to sound like a sales assistant in a cosmetics store.   
  
"But Lavender you're only twelve, you don't have wrinkles," Hermione interrupted from her side of the compartment. She had only sat with them so she wouldn't be alone but at the moment she would rather have been with Malfoy and his cronies. They were looking at her in complete disbelief. Hermione sighed and carried on reading.  
  
End flashback  
  
Hermione had only stayed at the Gryffindor table this long to see if Ron and Harry would turn up, but it was getting late and it seemed like they weren't going to. She closed her book and headed out of the Great Hall leaving Pavati and Lavender to continue their discussion on boys.  
  
"But come on, isn't that guy in our Divination class just the cutest?" Parvati sighed with a half vacant look on her face.  
  
  
  
"Which one?" Lavender frowned.  
  
  
  
"Oh come on, you know the one I'm on about."  
  
  
  
"You mean the one with the great hair?"   
  
  
  
"That's the one! Do you think he gets it coloured?" Pavarti wondered. "How do you think I'd look with highlights?" she asked, changing the subject as she flicked her hair over her shoulder.  
  
Minerva came into the great hall just as Hermione was leaving. She strode up towards the staff table.  
  
"Oh, have I missed all the fun?" she asked with more than a hint of sarcasm. "Shame."   
  
Severus gave a small smirk at her remark. He himself was not amused that he had to sit next to Gilderoy Lockhart, who had not stopped going on about how he was so happy to be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, and how, "The children will learn so much" from him. He sounded as if he was giving a speech at the muggle award ceremony. However, Severus saw him being made Defence Against The Dark Arts professor anything but good.  
  
He had wanted the position for himself.  
  
He had applied for the job every year for many years, but still he remained the Potions Master. How his pupils will ever learn anything is beyond me, he thought.   
  
  
  
Minerva had only been standing at the table for a few moments but it was already apparent that Gilderoy was getting on her nerves. She had started strumming her fingers on the old oak table, and her mouth seemed to be getting smaller as her lips pursed together in frustration. Albus Dumbledore was still sampling the custard tart, while the other professors were talking amongst themselves, leaving Minerva, Severus and Gilderoy to talk amongst themselves- or rather, leaving Minerva and Severus to listen to Gilderoy continue to practice his acceptance speech.   
  
After an excruciatingly boring ten minutes both Minerva and Severus had had enough.   
  
"Well I have a class to prepare for tomorrow. Goodnight." Severus bowed his head a little and made for the door of The Great Hall.In fact he had already prepared his lessons for the next few weeks, but Gilderoy wasn't to know that. Minerva followed after using the excuse of a migraine. She caught up with Severus a few moments later.   
  
"You used my excuse!" 


	6. Poofy

Hi guys, thanks for reviewing. I haven't given up on my fic. I'm sure to most of your disappointment :P I've had exams and stuff happening though so that's why its been so long. Not really a long chapter because I'm supposed to be revising but the next one will be up soon, enjoy.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to all my regular reviewers who have grudgingly waited so long, thanks guys.  
  
Chapter 5- Poofy.  
  
When Hermione had reached the picture of the Fat Lady, she had come across Ron and Harry standing outside trying to explain why they didn't have the password. After giving them a lecture she accompanied them into the common room where the two boys were mobbed by fellow Gryffindors patting them on the back and congratulating them.  
  
I'm not going to get a word in edgeways tonight am I? Hermione thought to herself. She looked around the common room, the first years were huddled together in a corner, keeping to themselves, not quite sure what to do. Amongst them Hermione spotted Ginny.  
  
"Hey Ginny!" Hermione shouted to her and waved as she walked over. "Congratulations on being in Gryffindor."  
  
"Thanks Hermione." She replied nervously.  
  
"Come sit down with me? Otherwise I'm going to be on my own." She indicated towards Harry and Ron who were still with their "adoring fans"  
  
Harry noticed the girls in the corner and waved. Hermione waved back but Ginny blushed and seemed to become extremely interested in the floor.  
  
The following morning the Trio went down to breakfast accompanied today by Ginny. They sat in their usual places and began eating their breakfast. Hermione was busy reading "voyages with vampires" and only managed a stiff "good morning" to Harry and Ron; an obvious sign of disapproval of the events of the day before. There was a loud fluttering of wings and Errol, Ron's Owl, swooped down, (or rather fell down) and dropped into Hermione's jug, splashing them all with milk before dropping a howler in front of Ron.  
  
Mrs Weasley's shouts filled the air. Hermione didn't think that she could get louder than she already was, but it turned out that she was quite mistaken. Mrs Weasley shouts were now at least Ten times louder.  
  
Ron slumped down his chair. Even though it was; a completely irresponsible thing to do, and they could of hurt themselves badly. Hermione couldn't help but feel sorry for Ron, even though; he did deserve it. She sighed to herself as she looked down at him.  
  
Severus hadn't been in the Hall when Ron had received his howler, much to his disappointment. He had been upstairs talking with Minerva in the staff room, over a cup of tea. They were talking about the house cup.  
  
"You know you only won the house cup last year because of Potter." Severus said casually  
  
"Not just because of Harry, we won because my house can work together as a team."  
  
"Are you saying that mine cannot?" He raised his eyebrows. "I said nothing of the sort Severus." She took a sip of her tea to hide her smile.  
  
"Oh well, last year is in the past, so it doesn't really matter now."  
  
Minerva gave a bemused expression, This coming from Severus Snape?! She thought to herself.  
  
"And besides," he continued, "I have a feeling we are going to win this year." A smirk beginning to appear on his face.  
  
"And What makes you think that then?" She asked, still a little confused.  
  
"We have a plan." He smirked tapping the side of his hooked nose. "You'll see."  
  
Later on, in his office (which, as most people aren't aware of isn't in the dungeons[i]) Severus was slumped in his chair; not the most dignified position for a potions master to be sat in, but at this time of day, he didn't really care. He had a throbbing headache; one reminiscent of a hangover...so his fifth butter beer didn't really help the situation.  
  
He felt that he needed to escape, get out of his skin. There was only one way he could get away with that this time of night without people asking questions. However, this option did subject him to the unwanted advances of a rather desperate Mrs Norris.  
  
But he really did have a bad day, not only did he miss the shaming of Harry Potter and his sidekick, but he also told Minerva that his house had a plan that would win them the house cup. Which he now had ten Galleons on. Not a wise move on his part. He had no confidence in his house they were almost completely responsible for the high accident rate in Hogwarts- tampering with people's potions, casting curses left, right and centre. And while all of this made him extremely proud, it didn't really amount to many house points.  
  
Gilderoy had rubbed him up the wrong way as well today. The thought of a whole year of him was enough to turn his stomach. He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his robe and unfolded it slowly; it was a signed photograph of the ponce Lockhart, who was winking at him. In a moment of slightly drunken annoyance, Severus grabbed his quill, started to sketch thick-framed glasses, and coloured in some teeth on Gilderoy's picture. A vast improvement Severus chuckled to himself. The picture of Gilderoy made silent protests and a rude hand gesture before storming off the page. Good riddance. Thought Severus. If only it was that easy to get rid of the real thing.  
  
Severus sighed. He still needed to go for a walk, to clear his head. Slowly pulling himself out of his chair[ii] Severus cringed as he felt his head ache. He tried as hard as possible to concentrate; and eventually after five minutes, the transformation began.  
  
Severus became smaller and smaller, gradually growing long black fur, a tail and whiskers. He was an unregistered animagus. Moreover, a black fluffy Persian.  
  
Staggering slightly; soft-fluffy Severus left his office, turned down the corridor and walked straight into Filch. Filch had seen Severus in his feline form many times after dark and had lovingly named him Poofy. Poofy...I mean Severus, was not happy about it at all. He was even less happy when Filch called his beloved cat.  
  
"Mrs Norris! Your boyfriend is here"  
  
Oh no. Not again. Severus cringed. And I am not her boyfriend.  
  
But before he even had a chance to run, Mrs Norris was hurtling down the corridor towards him. Scared and fearing for his mentality, Severus ran. He was getting faster; he had had a lot of practice. There didn't seem an evening that went by without Mrs Norris trying to get a bit of Poofy's action.  
  
I know I know nothing much actually happened in that chapter but I promise it will get better, but only if you review :P I am working on another chapter as we speak. In fact, it's already almost done, but because it was written a while ago and I think I've improved a bit, it needs a bit of tweaking. But it will be done soon I promise. ----------------------- [i] This was due to the Slytherins constantly barging into what appeared to be The potions masters store cupboard, which was in fact his office come bedroom; and when magical moving photos are distributed amongst the students of you snoring; you start to wonder whether or not it was a good idea not to put that lock on the door. [ii] As to avoid the painful dizziness associated with too much drink. Also to stop himself from slumping immediately to the floor in a heap. 


	7. Gilderoy a History

Hello my darlings! Well I gather that you all want a bit more Gilderoy so...I am dedicating this chapter to all those who requested him because this chapter is all about Gilderoy WHEE! Cough yes... you probably realised that I have changed the last chapter; I prefer it this way it seems to go with my plot more okies? So sorry if I confused you.  
  
Warning- the characters are probably a little OOC but it just makes it funnier ok :P  
  
Disclaimer- J.K Rowling = Rich. Me =Poor... you get the idea.  
  
Chapter 6 (I know its labelled chapter 7 but I'm not including My A.N :p)- Gilderoy- a History.  
  
Gilderoy sat down on his bed. His room already felt like home. It had everything he could possibly need; Walls full of his pictures, plenty of mirrors and... his favourite part of his room, a walk in wardrobe. He knew he was going to enjoy this year, he could tell from the reception his students gave him. They were riveted in his classes...or so he thought. And he seemed to be getting on pretty well with all of the other professors: except of Minerva.  
  
He could not understand what her problem was. Had he forgotten to send her a birthday card? That must be it. Satisfied that he could remedy the situation with a belated birthday card he lay down on his bed.  
  
He had had his bed transferred to Hogwarts when he knew he was getting the job. He refused to sleep in a "used bed" and insisted on having his king- sized bed moved with him, velvet bedspread and all.  
  
He grabbed some parchment and a quill form his bedside table. He was going to write his biography suitably entitled "Gilderoy- a History" His inspiration blatantly taken from "Hogwarts a History."  
  
Although, in his opinion, his book would of course be much better, just because it was written by him. That's right, he was going to write it all by himself, no ghostwriters for Gilderoy Lockhart, no sir. Anyway, he didn't think ghosts were too good at spelling.  
  
"My dizzying climb to the top began when I was born. Everybody loved me. My mother told me I was an adorable baby. Of course, mothers always say that to their children, even if everybody else thought they were ugly. Almost all babies are cute anyway...but even so, I was just plain better than any other baby..."  
  
...This was how his book began. Pleased that he had written enough Gilderoy sat in front of a mirror and practised his trademark smile.  
  
Yep Gilderoy old boy, you're just plain better looking than everybody else is. He thought to himself.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
As deputy head, Minerva was obliged to check up on the new members of staff at the end of their first day. She had pleaded with Dumbledore, begged him[i] to let her not go to see Gilderoy. But when she left his office, with only a shred of dignity left, she still had to go and talk to him.  
  
Severus was still in feline form and was still being chased by Mrs Norris, but he was slowed down when a wall collided with his face. Dazed and concussed Severus wobbled down the corridor and landed at Minerva's feet.  
  
Minerva looked down at him and cooed. "Aaw you poor little thing." She picked him up, "why aren't you just the cutest little ball of fluff I've ever seen!"  
  
Severus knew that look, that look in her eyes...she was going all girly and mushy on him...oh no. He meowed in protest,  
  
Geroffame woman!  
  
But Minerva wasn't paying any attention.  
  
"You're coming with me. I need moral support." She whispered, she sounded slightly nervous.  
  
Gilderoy's room? What are we doing lurking out here? Severus wondered to himself. ... Oh no...eurgh! Please don't tell me u an' him are...EURGH!  
  
Severus thought he was mentally scarred for life. If he was going to get out of this alive, he was definitely going to check himself into St. Mungos.  
  
Minerva hesitatingly knocked on the door. Severus shut his eyes quickly. Gilderoy let them in.  
  
"What a cute cat." Gilderoy commented, and went to stroke Severus.  
  
Oh no you don't pretty boy growled Severus as he swiped a paw at his hand and bit him.  
  
"OUCH"  
  
Minerva laughed.  
  
"Yes, well, anyway. Nice to see you Minerva."  
  
"Wish I could say the same." She quipped  
  
It took a few moments for the insult to sink in with him.  
  
"Anyway, do sit down darling."  
  
"Um, no" she said harshly "and don't ever call me that, we have a purely professional relationship. Nothing more. I am merely obliged to come and check on you so if you could tell me how your day went, I can go."  
  
Whew, so you're not here to do THAT then. Thank goodness. Although even the thought of you two...y'know...is a bit, ok, a lot disgusting. Meowed Severus.  
  
"But Minerva I thought that what we had was special."  
  
"Exactly, was special, until you ruined everything. So if you will just tell me what I need to know."  
  
"Why are you being so cold Minerva?"  
  
Cold? She is bloody frosty if you ask me. Thought Severus. Minerva stroked him and he began to purr automatically.  
  
Minerva gave Gilderoy a piercing glare, usually reserved for Slytherins[ii] but occasionally used on smarmy love rats A.K.A. Gilderoy Lockhart. Even his trademark grin wasn't going to win her over this time.  
  
"Well, it was rather a pleasant day." Started Gilderoy. "All the children listened tentatively..." He turned around to gaze at himself in the mirror. "And I showed then first hand how to triumph over those pesky blue critters...er...Grindylows. You remember. From my second..."  
  
The door slammed.  
  
"...Book?"  
  
He turned round, Minerva had gone. It turned out that his captivated audience wasn't so captivated after all. Why couldn't he get round Minerva? He had left her to pursue his career, he thought she knew that. Did he really break her heart?  
  
"OH I KNOW!" he exclaimed. Hurriedly he folded a piece of parchment and scribbled on it. He ran out into the corridor just in time to catch Minerva.  
  
"WAIT!" he shouted. Then passed her the parchment. "Goodnight Minerva." He said before leaving her confused in the corridor with Severus.  
  
Minerva looked down at the parchment, it read:  
  
"Happy Belated Birthday Minerva! Love from Gilderoy Lockhart xx"  
  
A look of confusion came to her face. "What the?" she looked at Severus "My birthday isn't until next month."  
  
----------------------- [i] Literally begged him, she even got down on her knees in a most undignified manner which left unsightly dust marks on her robes. [ii] Severus also knew this look, she had used it on him a lot, just because he was a slytherin mind you. 


	8. slugs, detention and a crumpled tail

Disclaimer- the following chapter is based around "mudbloods and murmurs" from the CoS…owned by J.K Rowling (sob)…not me (sniff).  
  
Chapter 7-Slugs, Detention and a crumpled tail.  
  
One morning, a few weeks after the start of the school year, Ron woke up to find Harry's bed empty. Half asleep, he read the note that Harry had left on his trunk:  
  
"Ron,  
  
Have gone to Quidditch practise, yes Wood has lost his mind. See you later.  
  
Harry."  
  
Ron yawned and fell out of bed; the loud thud caused a snoring Neville to shift about uneasily. A little while later a fully clothed, albeit messily, Ron walked into the red and gold common room. Hermione was already awake and was reading 'One thousand magical Herbs'  
  
"Morning" mumbled Ron, rubbing his eyes. "How can you read so earl-" his last word was cut off by an involuntary yawn.  
  
"Hi Ron," she chirped. "Quite easily." Hermione was always wide-awake in the morning, Ron couldn't understand it.  
  
It can't be a girl thing. He thought. Ginny is as bad as me, it must just be a Hermione thing.  
  
"Harry not up yet?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, he's at Quidditch practise."  
  
"Really? Wow it's a bit early isn't it."  
  
"I could say the same about you studying." Ron smirked.  
  
Hermione stuck her tongue out.  
  
"Anyway he thinks Wood has lost his mind." He laughed, and then yawned.  
  
"We should go down and watch." Suggested Hermione although she showed no signs of moving from the sofa, where Ron had just slouched next to her.  
  
"Yeah we should…bu-" Ron yawned- again.  
  
Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes. Eventually she stood up and grabbed Ron's hand pulling him up…she was stronger than she looked. Ron blushed furiously and his heart started to beat a little faster.  
  
"Right we are going now." She laughed.   
  
Ron sighed. Anytime spent alone with Hermione was precious.  
  
On the way down to the Quidditch pitch they stopped off at the Great Hall to pick up some breakfast for themselves: toast and marmalade. When they got to the pitch it was empty, save for Colin Creevey who was wandering around the stands taking pictures.  
  
"They must have finished." Hermione observed. "We are too late, I blame you. Lazy." She added playfully.  
  
Ron looked at her, she had a faint flush to her cheeks from the cold wind and her eyes had a twinkle that comes with youth and abundant health. He smiled to himself and blushed when he realised what he was thinking, she was one of his best friends but there was no way he liked her that much.   
  
Hermione squinted. "Or maybe they haven't started yet, look" she pointed in the direction of the changing room door where a small Harry shaped figure had just appeared. He mounted his broom and sped towards them.  
  
Hermione always enjoyed the time she spent alone with Ron; even if they were prone to petty squabbles.  
  
"Aren't you finished yet?" called Ron who noticed that Harry was looking enviously down at his breakfast. Ron shoved it quickly into his mouth.  
  
"Haven't even started." Came Harry's tired reply, before he sped off.  
  
The remaining two were quiet for a while; Hermione taking delicate nibbles of her toast and Ron still munching on the slice that he'd easily put in his mouth, whole.  
  
"'Mione, what the hell are Slytherin doing on the pitch?!" Ron stood up to get a better look.  
  
"Lets go find out shall we?" she suggested and sped off down the steps. Ron followed easily taking two steps at a time.  
  
It had turned out that the Slytherin team had a note from one "Slimy git Snape" as Ron referred to him. The note allowed them to use the pitch to train their new seeker. Draco Malfoy or "the smaller slimy git" as Harry later referred to him.  
  
Draco Malfoy had made the mistake of calling Hermione a mudblood. This caused uproar and an unfortunate Ron to be hit by his own spell, causing him to spew slugs.  
  
Severus had been watching the morning's events, with interest, from his office. He couldn't help but feel proud that he had been part of Ron's embarrassment. He chuckled sardonically to himself. Today was going to be a good day. He had spoken to Minerva five minutes previously and was quite pleased to hear that her golden boys were to have their detention tonight. It had taken a while for Minerva to think of a suitable punishment, despite Severus' best attempts to give her suggestions. Finally, she had decided to make Ron clean the silver in the trophy room by hand. Severus thought this a fair punishment, as Ron had probably never cleaned something the muggle way in his whole life. Also this meant that Severus' evening entertainment was already planned, being chased by Mrs Norris wasn't even going to put him off sneaking into the trophy room to watch Ron.  
  
Harry would be helping Lockhart with his fan mail. Even Severus was astounded by how cruel Minerva could be. He couldn't understand why she wasn't in Slytherin.   
  
I would not like to be in Harry's shoes this evening. H e thought, and a slight smirk came to his face.   
  
Later on, Poofy was sitting outside the trophy room. Ron hadn't shown up yet, and thankfully neither had Mrs Norris.   
  
Just like Ronald Weasley to be late. Severus would have sneered, if cats could sneer.   
  
Ron suddenly came hurtling round the corner, almost stepping on Poofy's tail.   
  
Watch where you're going you twit! Severus hissed at Ron, and followed him inside. Just in time to get his tail stuck in the door.  
  
OUCH! Meowed Severus.  
  
"Oops sorry cat didn't see you there." Ron apologised and opened the door again.  
  
I swear that cat is glaring at me. Ron decided, and started to feel a little edgy. Reminds me of someone.  
  
Severus sat watching Ron clean for a long time, he was hopeless just as he had predicted. Still with crumpled tail he eventually left Ron to finish, it was getting late after all and he had a class to teach next morning.  
  
Back in his room, Severus was back in human form, sorting out work for his class the next day. Absent-mindedly he licked his hand.  
  
Eurgh did I just do a cat thing? 


	9. AN2

A/N  
  
right, its been brought to my attention that I have numerous spelling mistakes. Not meaning to sound rude but get over it will you? I'm sleepy, microsoft word isn't working on my pc and therefore my spellcheck isn't either so ner :P just enjoy the story for what it is... attempted humour with very bad spelling, thanks. 


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